One month ago, I uncurled from a panic attack and opened my laptop. I can’t say exactly what I hoped for–I don’t think I was hoping for much of anything other than a sense of relief and distraction. So far, This Starling has provided something really significant for me: a place to slowly chisel away at myself in search of truth, to process life, and (perhaps most important of all) to focus on something other than graduate school. I think my most significant wish for this space has been authenticity. I so enjoy reading the words and posts of famous/popular bloggers, but I’m wary of attempting to copy them and as a result ruining my safe space. It is so hard to develop your own voice, and I don’t want to waste my time mimicking someone else’s. Instead, even if this is never a popular blog, and even if only my mom and my heart-sister and the reynard read it, I want this to be a space where my voice can grow in confidence and joy.
The past month has held a lot of change and challenge for me, and I’ve handled it with varying levels of capability, but developing This Starling has given me a place to anchor myself. I am grateful for that.